Stretch Life Out

My husband and I are huge “Terminator” fans so naturally we were curious about the new “Sara Conner Chronicles” hour long show that has a lot to do with a teenage boy, a hot robot, mom, and time travel that makes no sense.  It’s way cool . . . by the fifth episode.  We were half way through when it dawned on me:  you know, with a teenage boy in the house and a hot teenage girl robot that does anything you command, you’d think he’d be taking advantage of the situation, but alas, network television doesn’t allow robot porn, not even on FOX.  It’s okay if the robot kills people, though, and tears fistfulls of flesh off the corpse, but oh no, not hot robot sex!  You know because that would just be WRONG. 

Think about it–a teenage boy and a hot robot chick.  She doesnt’t get her period, headaches, or nag you about dirty socks next to the bed.  The kid doesn’t even have to worry about her orgasm — she can’t!  You don’t have to worry about STDs or knocking her up, and she never sleeps or eats or gets tired.  My husband was more than enthusiastic about this idea.  Go figure.

Then I said, “What about a man robot?  How come they’re not hot and doing whatever you say?”  My husband kind of agreed and turned it into a point of “Why is the woman robot the good one on T.V. when she was the enemy in Terminator 3?”  That’s not exactly what I was trying to say, but it’s nice to know that technology has it’s own double-standards too.  Of course, like a typical woman, I would have a male robot fix my roof, clean up the monsoon of was once a basement, reaarange furniture until everything was perfect, plant a garden, bathe the kids, rob a bank, vacuum under beds, and talk to it about my problems and feelings, among other things.  Gee wiz, I’d be too exhausted uploading demands to take it to bed.  I think your typical woman would cause the robot to self-terminate in order to escape.

A hot chick robot wouldn’t care about escaping because guys only want a couple of things and those things are easy to program.  Great.  Now I have to compete with Heidi Klum and hot chick robots.  It’s so unfair!  Well, those are probably the same thing anyway.  Only a robot could be that hot all of the time; even the Stepford Wives have their work cut out for them.  I’m lucky if I can put in a pony tail without pulling a muscle. 

Still, The Sarah Conner Chronicles does have an interesting gender dynamic going on.  John, the future leader of humanity, spends his time going to school and taking orders from a hot robot and mom, neither of whom will let the kid take a pee without authorization.  You gotta wonder how this is going to help train him for the war against the machines….probably pent up sexual frustration, and pissed off he didn’t think to get some from his hot robot.  Life’s such a bitch.